Twilight - How you shouldn't never tell a story... O..o'

Tittle: Twilight

Finnish edition: Houkutus ( Temptation )

Author: Stephenie Meyer

 

I have never turned my glare from books about vampires and I thought this might actually be a good stuff to read... That’s what I thought when I made the decision to buy the damn book year ago but had a will to read it now..

It was a disappointment.

I have nothing against sparkling vampires that sun doesn’t kill... I have seen much more stupid vampires in 30 days of Night. Damn brutes that looked like they had been mix-breed with sharks! Cheesh!

I assume that if Dracula could walk in the sunlight... ( I doubt he sparkled... ) and Alucard ( another aspect of Dracula btw ) mentioned that he just hates sunlight....  ( I don’t think he sparkles either... but he would look stunning no doubt of that! )

What make the book so damn disapointment was how to use the characters... It was written from teen girl’s point of view into some mary-sue character worship thing...  Like there are some fanfics for every serie and book and such which start; he looked sooo adonis and his perfect muscles were so stunning and and... I think my face turned into green in every spots... and the whole book was full of that.
That is the danger when choosing I-point of view.

You know the author writes the story like; I saw him standing there...

There were some plot-holes.... Or should I say craters in plotline... Like how the things began to take more and more time to explain just what happened during one day. I wonder in some parts of the relationship how the things got evolved to that...

Howcome Bella’s mom didn’t call his ex and told the news for him so he too should and would have been there in the hospital. What about Bella’s friends, they would have been worried too if she goes missing for two months and teachers and what about her school?! .... I'm quite sure that not even the most seductive vampire on Earth can wipe those things away from mind... O..o'

She closes in her own little bubble with Edward and two months has been spent... Not to mention how incredible stupid Bella can be sometimes and very very very very horny... All that time in the beginning that Edward is so damn frustrated and wanting to get her away it really is a shame that he cannot read Bella’s thoughts... It hadn’t been Bella who had been running away screaming from horror, it had been Edward.

Edward... Sounds like a emo to me. More angsty than Bella who is afraid of commitments but still is potrayed as almost every girl’s fantasy who will willingly jump off the cliff if asked... But it’s overkill to potray him as adonis over and over again, or how tight, sexy his shirt is and yadda yadda yadda.... He doesn’t have any real flaws in his personality or his habits or anywhere. He can control himself and is good at everything and even arrives to safe damsel in stress and drags same damsel in dress to a ball... Only thing he is doing is sneaking into Bella’s room so he is a bit of pervert too and other thing that actually makes him emo is that he whines how terrible it is to be a vampire and how everyone should stay away from him and like he has killed anyone after learning his “fathers” diet. Or constantly reminding that he could kill Bella just like that... Dangerous... rawwwr...
Dangerous up my... <.<’

I was browsing DA for some pretty damn funny fan arts about all what’s wrong about Twilight and was actually pointed out how Bella shamelessly uses Jacob. I thought that was some normal bratty teenager girl thing... Actually she is like little angsty emo girl who hates everything.. If she didn’t like to move to that damn place why didn’t she move somewhere else on her own? The reason why she moved wasn’t actually much clear at all... And her relationship with her dad stayed on very distant. -One could assume that they might have seen each other much more often than that.

I don’t much say nothing about the relationships because they are unique for each person but I would have hoped to see something more. It is dangerous to write from self-I point of view because it’s just one character’s point of view all the damn time and it’s easiest to write a story full of mary-sues, give the very best for the character even no matter how much hurting them in some point...

The author should be happy though, lot of people have read her book and actually bought it or almost bought the entire series...

It tells a lot that as soon as I got mine red I put in the auction and I am hoping to get even one person to give it a new happier home and who might actually love the story. It had it’s avegare good moments and it was almost enjoyable in those but then... all it needed to remind of Edward being a uber hot marble adonis and it completely ruined the any moods the book might had to offer. -Too much is too much and too much is an overkill...

I was about to stop reading when I red the Prologue part.... It made me slam the book shut on that instant and in a sort of way I regret that I did not slam it shut and toss it against the wall and burn the damn thing!

After I red Podkayne of Mars which was written as annoyingly but the main character was more annoying... I did toss that book against the wall. - I haven’t sold that one yet... I guess nobody wants to buy such crap but someday I’ll put that on sale too believe you me.

As a story The Twilight wasn’t even above average of all the books I have ever read. I have read much much better books and I will probably continue reading much better ones. If you want to see real kick ass vampire story, check out Nancy A. Collins’s Sunglasses after dark... unless you’re not afraid of seeing real vampires with fangs and everything. ;)

My friend and I have had lots of discussions about Twilight and my friend said quite well that Edward sounds to be a vampire for people who otherwise would shit in their pants if meeting someone like Alucard from Hellsing or Dracula or anyone more traditional vampire...

True... but it’s not because Edward sparkles in sunset instead of bursting into a flames like some vampire myths say the vampires would... It’s because how he is portrayed as an overkill gary-stue character that makes him repulsive.

I kind of understand why some people would want to label Twilight into joke of modern literature... I blame how how it's been written and how there should have been some level-headed betas to read and stop the author from making some mistakes with the characters. -Or how to portray them anyway...

I joked to my friends that I am just way too old to read or understand it. Or what's so cool about to be reminded how uber hot a character can be. <.<' I don't know how the original English one had been written though but I doubt it has been any better than it's Finnish translation... =..='

I don't think I can go on with New Moon... =..='

~Uku

( 25.11.2009 )